Political Jokes

If con is the opposite of pro, then is Congress the opposite of progress?

A thief stuck a pistol in a man’s ribs and said, “Give me your money.” The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said “You cannot do this, I’m a United States congressman!” The thief said, “In that case, give me my money!”

Politician was a guest speaker at the golf club dinner. As the politician stood up to speak, a few of the men saw it as an opportunity to sneak off to the bar. An hour later, with the politician still talking, another man joined them. “Is he still talking?” they asked him. “Yes.” another man answered. “What on Earth is he talking about?” “I don’t know. He’s still introducing himself.”

Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s new Obama Value Meal? A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

We used to have Reagan, Jonny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have Obama, no cash, and no hope.

Bill Clinton broke out in rage after being asked a line of questions about him being controlled. Interviewer: “Who pulls your strings, Bill? What special interests control you?” Clinton: “You leave Hillary out of this!”